Choosing a residence with your family
At the time of choice, who decides? Monique and Henri have decided to sell the house to live in a retirement home and think that choosing a a residence with their family is the best solution.
Indeed, Henri, too busy caring for his wife Monique, who has Alzheimer’s disease, asks the children to do the research for them. Marc, the youngest of the family, would like to house his parents in an affordable apartment. Geneviève, for her part, believes that a very luxurious residence would be more suitable. As for Hélène, she believes that her father is also showing signs of loss of autonomy; his parents therefore require a residence capable of accommodating them. Finally, Paul announces that he has found a residence near his home. Still on the move, the family businessman will have little time to visit his parents. We can see that choosing a family residence can be complicated!
Who is right, who is wrong ? No one gets along and Monique’s condition gradually worsens.
Meet with the kids
At Visavie, we specialize in finding residences for the elderly, our advisors regularly face this type of situation. Team members were often involved in heated, emotional discussions where opinions were mixed. “Each child has their own perception of the residence. Obviously, you have to reach a consensus before you can start looking for the ideal residence, ”says Claudine Blier, advisor at Visavie for more than 12 years. A first meeting bringing together children and parents is necessary to discuss the realities. A meeting in which it takes skill, compassion and a lot of empathy to listen to each other’s opinions. Mind you, some kids may do their research first and visit residences before even bringing up the topic with their parents.
Emphasize the benefits
This first meeting is used to listen to children and parents, but also to demonstrate the advantages of choosing the right place. In a residence, supervision is ensured 24 hours a day, insists Ms. Blier. The children as well as the spouse can thus spend the best quality time with the person who finds himself not only in an adequate environment, but especially in good hands. “Our role at Visavie is to bring out the positive aspects of the residence and to help people choose the best place,” says Claudine Blier.
Intervention of specialists
It is common to see children in denial, children who refuse to see and accept their parent’s real condition. “In cases of cognitive loss, meeting the family may involve the participation of a specialist from the Alzheimer Support organization, for example,” says Blier. Help from social workers, psychologists may also be required. These experts, she says, help children and spouses to better demystify the disease, the physical condition of parents, they help better understand the issues for the family.
The choice of residence is essentially based on three criteria. The physical and mental condition of the person, the location of the residence and, of course, the budget. “Of these three criteria, location is generally the factor that needs to be the most flexible. This is the criterion that requires the greatest openness, “says Blier. The budget, she continues, is generally the criterion which dictates the choice of the location of the residence. “To help families budget, we suggest they consider the person’s monthly income, the amounts the parent receives from their pension, from the government. Unless the parent requires special care, it is better to choose a residence that does not need to immediately draw on the person’s other reserves, ”recommends Ms. Blier.
If the children still don’t get along, whoever is the parent’s proxy will have the final say.
Choosing a residence with Visavie
Since 1988, Visavie advisors have supported more than 175,000 families free of charge in their efforts to find a residence that perfectly meets their needs, preferences and budget. Thanks to a simple and efficient process, you:
- Reduce your research time and the risk of making the wrong choice
- Understand the issues related to the right choice and how to choose the right residence
- You will be taken care of from your first call and will be supported throughout the process
- You remain completely free to choose your residence